A couple of years ago, my father passed away in my dream. I was crying
crying crying and
crying and felt like my heart was torn apart. When I told my dad
about my dream
the next day, he said to me "Don't cry, if I pass away in the
future, I don't want you
to grieve because I would be all right even after
my death, O.K?"
My father is 80 years old. Even having undergone his heart
surgery last year he is
still healthy. According to Korean tradition, my parents
have prepared their garments
for the dead and graves that they will be buried in
after their death. The graves are
located in Paju which is very close to North
Korea, their hometown they have been
longing to visit with all their heart for over 60
years.
As my dad is a sincere Catholic, I'm sure he will accept his
death with a calm attitude.
I understand God will give him a warm welcome, but I can't promise
him not to mourn.
몇 년전 열심히 영어 학원엘 다닐 때 제출했던 작문 숙제다.
'mourn, grieve,
grave' 등을 사용해 작문을 하되 반드시 해피엔딩이어야 한다는 것이었는데
당시 이걸 쓰면서 마음이 찔끔 찔끔했지만 아버지의
부재가 뭔지 짐작도 못한 셈이다.
지금도 여전히 그렇지만.
꿈속에선 아프지 않다고 하는데 난 지금도 그 꿈속에서 찢어질 듯 마음이
아팠던 게 선명하다. 지난 토요일 밤새 못 주무시는 아버질 보면서 그 아픔이 다시 생각났다.
굵은 글씨는 선생님이 고쳐주신 부분.